KooKooNoodle

No internet. Nothing on TV. Nothing to clean because I’m on vacation at my family’s time share at the Lawrence Welk Resort near San Diego. Chloe is napping in the bedroom. Shayne is snoozing next to me on the couch. My in-laws and their friends are out on the town. No sounds but some chirping birds, the distant white noise of the 71 Freeway and the tapping of my fingers on the keys of my laptop. Could this be paradise? Seriously, could it be?

I love my life with my husband and daughter, you know, the rhythm of it. My days are strings of little moments in bubbles threaded together by the routines we’ve created. But every now and then, I really miss one thing… day dreaming. When I was single, waking up on a weekend was all about lying in bed and staring out the window, thinking about nothing. My mind would tumble from one subject to the next, often weaving stories from my random thoughts. It was almost like being in a shallow sleep, dreaming, but in a kind of guided way. I never thought of that regular weekend daydream as a luxury, but it was. Oh, how it was.

Every now and then on Saturday mornings, Shayne will often get up before me to fetch Chloe from her bed and give her breakfast. “Did you get some more sleep?” he‘ll ask. No, something much better.

It’s taken me about 45 minutes to write these three little paragraphs, because in the middle of a sentence, I’ll look out the wall of windows in front of me at the wind moving a palm tree, and I’ll zone right out. My eyes defocus and my breathing slows. I can feel the swaying of the palm tree as if it‘s rocking me too. Random thoughts tumble over each other, making me feel creative and calm. Paradise? Oh yes, most definitely.

Posted on June 25th, 2007 by Stephanie
Filed under: Life, Uncategorized